May 2012
1 post
2 tags
“Ok well if I have to throw a brick at anyone I just got a new brick :) let me...”
– bestfriend
April 2012
3 posts
1 tag
AACF Sister's Appreciation 2012
4.21.12
It was definitely an interesting experience…first formal type of event with AACF. I loved all of the hard work that the boys put into tonight. Awkward at times for me, because I’m still not entirely comfortable with everyone. And specially during the video. It was a super sweet video, but I knew that I wasn’t exactly included in it. After all, they’ve only known me...
2 tags
Confession #6
If you really knew me,
You would know that I’m emotionally needy.
A lot of people think I’m independent. That I can take care of myself. That I’m capable. And I am. Most of the time, anyway. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still need people. I’m strongly independent, yet highly needy. It sounds contradictory, but seems to be true in my case. I push people...
2 tags
Confession #5
If you really knew me,
You would know that I’m incredibly sensitive. And I hate it.
I take a lot of things to heart, even remarks that may seem insignificant and unimportant in your eyes. I can’t help but feel self-conscious about myself. I’m insecure and have a pretty low self-esteem, something that I’ve been trying to work on. It’s hard for me to completely relax...
March 2012
1 post
1 tag
February 2012
1 post
1 tag
January 2012
2 posts
2 tags
Confession #4
If you really knew me,
You would know that I used to fall head over heels for a guy. If I fell, I fell hard. It’s different now. I’m different now. I’ve grown a little older, a little wiser. I think I’m still a hopeless romantic at heart. But at the same time, I’m a cynic about love. Is this possible?
Now I know better. Now I know not to fall for just any charming...
3 tags
“You’re one of the few people I know who has her head on...”
– PSIS + babyboy
December 2011
2 posts
1 tag
I want to know if you're worth it.
I’m not sure what’s going on right now or what’s going to happen, but I do know that I’ve already put a little piece of myself out on the table.
I put my heart in my hand and opened myself up to a potential something. I may be opening myself up to disappointment, but if I don’t, then I’ll never know what may happen. Will I?
I hope I’m making the right decision. I hope I’m ready.
1 tag
I have come to a point in my life where I'm...
I can’t sleep. I can’t stay awake. I can’t sit still. I can’t get up. I can’t clean. I can’t eat. I can’t study. I can’t focus. I can’t read. I can’t think. I can’t breathe.
I’m just trying to find that one thing that will get me going again, whatever it may be.
November 2011
4 posts
4 tags
Confession #3
If you really knew me,
You would know that because of today, three years ago, I still can’t go to Half Moon Bay. Three years ago today, I experienced grief and pain like I’ve never experienced before. Time does heal, but it can’t take back what’s already happened. A lot has happened since then. I’ve changed and grown and matured, or so I like to think. But I wonder...
3 tags
2 tags
Confession #2
If you really knew me,
You would know that I have a love/hate relationship with being 21. I have no excuse any more to decline “going-out” invitations. As much as I want to go clubbing, clubs and parties just end up depressing me. Yes, I want to have fun. But I never really feel comfortable at these party events. Honestly, I think it’s just me. I need to go with a certain group...
2 tags
Confession #1
If you really knew me,
You would know that I’m at my most vulnerable at night. It’s weird and strange, but I tend to just fall to pieces. Sometimes I’ll just drive, with no intention of going home and with no destination in mind. I go out just to be around people, so I don’t have to be alone. But once I’m there, all I want to do is leave. I admit that I get jealous of people who are...
October 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Full-time student. Four upper division classes, twelve units.
Work. Monday through Friday.
Tutoring. Six hours a week.
Alpha Phi Omega. Active requirements, BIG requirements.
Family Head.
PR Committee.
JLC reunion.
…
Starting to burn out.
1 tag
dependent. disappointment.
I dislike needy and dependent people. I really do.
I never could understand why people jump from one relationship to another, always chasing after someone and never taking the chance to slow down and breathe. My ex-boyfriend is/was one of these people. He always had a girl by his side. He admitted it; he was dependent. He always had to have someone there, right next to him, walking him through...
June 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Sometimes, I wish for a more charmed life.
Beautiful. Photogenic. Healthy. Witty. Intelligent. Skinny. Effortless. Fashionable. Knowledgeable. Charming. Flirty. Stylish. Athletic. Competent. Overachiever. Optimistic. Delightful.
I wish.
1 tag
I want to be beautiful.
May 2011
5 posts
1 tag
eat, pray, love
I don’t even know where to begin; the words are tangled up in my mind, still searching for a way to come out. It made me laugh and cry, confused and frustrated, sad, empty, and also, feel loved.
Following someone else’s journey of self-discovery… It really made me re-think my own life and whatintheworld I’m doing with it right now. I realized just how much fear I have, the many insecurities I...
2 tags
“You have your friends. We all got you. And just remember. New is always better...”
– Again, copied verbatim! Haha.
bestfriend, I know I always run to you with my relationship problems. I hope you know how much I appreciate all your advice and encouragement, even when I seem so hopeless sometimes. It must get annoying having to deal with me all the time ): Sorryyyy. But thank you so...
2 tags
1 tag
marry you
Oh, baby. You’re still so young and I hate to see you this way when you have your whole life ahead of you.
There’s only so much I can do for you. I can only carry you so far. The rest is up to you. Right now, at this moment, I’m just not strong enough for the both of us. I need some support of my own too. But I have faith that we’ll push past this soon enough. We all go through tough times, but...
1 tag
Philz Istanbul Treat.
large. medium sweet w/ honey and cream.
April 2011
2 posts
1 tag
““I just think that you have to protect yourself,” I said. “You can’t just give...”
– Sarah Dessen (This Lullaby)
STORY OF MY LIFE.
1 tag
“I hope you find your way it’s hard to get through a break up because...”
– P.S. Copied verbatim, with grammatical errors and everything :)
THANKYOU.
March 2011
1 post
1 tag
I really don’t like when people just assume things, especially things like that, about me.
Really, guys? Pbros? Just a bit disappointed.
January 2011
3 posts
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
December 2010
3 posts
1 tag
OH HAI.
ACK. So, I realize that there are people who know me that follow this tumblr. LOL, I don’t know how that happened. BUT since this IS more of my personal, private tumblr, I’d appreciate if anything that anyone has read so far doesn’t go past this tumblr. I have lots of little rants and down points that I’d just rather not spread around. Thank you for being understanding!
...
1 tag
heart is exploding with love.
I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR JLC.
I can’t believe how they’ve become such a big part of my life. Words can’t even describe how in love with them I am. There’s a part of me that’s coming out…the part that I hate. I hate how I second guess myself and judge myself so harshly. I worry about what others think of me, as stupid as that sounds. Because JLC is so much a...
October 2010
2 posts
1 tag
1 tag
HOMECOMING TAILGATE!
YEAAHHUHHHHH. Tailgate was hellaaaa fun. I only had like half a beer since I have superrr low tolerance and I had service afterward. People hella went cray cray. It was freaking insane. Keg, beer bong, beer pong, etc. INSANITY. Good dance music. Food. Saw lots of people (:
I just wish that I had went earlier though. Before people had too much to drink and were totally gone. ]x
And it was super...
September 2010
9 posts
1 tag
2 tags
I started tearing up before I even made it out of church today. I let it all go as soon as I closed the door of my car and safely drove away.
I think it’s good to let my emotions out, even if it’s just crying to myself. It’s a lot better than holding everything in.
I had a really good talk with Wendy today. Just talked about the college/young adult group and my APO...
1 tag
DAY 7: YOUR EX-CRUSH
Dear ex-,
I want to say that you are ridiculously awesome. Sweet and understanding, sense of humor, smart and hard-working, open and outgoing, cute but not cocky, etc. etc. etc. THAT’S ALL.
LOVE, LOLA.
3 tags
2 tags
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2 tags
1 tag
DAY 6: A STRANGER
Dear stranger,
I’ve never met you, but I want to thank you for letting me go in front of you whilst going down the ramp of the parking garage today. (Although that may have been because security was right behind you…) Not many people stop to let cars in. THANK YOU :]
LOVE, LOLA.
1 tag
Labor Day weekend = SF + Berkeley + Annie +...
So unbelievably excited for this weekend! A bunch of good and yummy things have happened lately; let’s hope I keep up this optimism!
July 2010
8 posts
1 tag
“Style is wearing an evening dress to McDonalds, wearing heels to play football....”
– John Galliano (via the-front-row)
2 tags
1 tag
DAY 5: YOUR DREAMS
Dear dreams,
I like when you’re good, hate when you’re bad. No more of those f-ing scary ass nightmares, please. You’re pretty good most of the time. Weird, too. But I don’t mind so much. Sometimes, I wish I would remember you when I wake up in the morning. I don’t quite know what else to say to you, so bye bye.
LOVE, LOLA.
1 tag
DAY 4: YOUR SIBLING
Dear Helen,
I love that you’re my sister! I think that we’re pretty different in terms of personality. You’re more blunt and straightforward than I am. And you’re a bit better at dealing with social situations. Hahaha. Can’t wait to see you grow up and go off to collegeeee. And also continue with your art! I hope! We should (still) open a business someday and you can...
1 tag
DAY 3: YOUR PARENTS
Dear Mother,
Thank you for being my mom. I know I’m far from a perfect daughter, but thanks for putting up with me and letting me live with you full time. You’re usually supportive of my choices, and also let me have the freedom to live my life. Thank you for letting me make choices by myself, and learning from them. I probably don’t show it, but I really am grateful for all...
1 tag
DAY 2: YOUR CRUSH
Dear Pufferfish,
I have a feeling that you already know you’re my crush :) It’s been more than two and a half years since we first started dating, and we’ve had major MAJOR ups and downs. I hate how we don’t get to see each other enough, but we make up for it when we do get the chance to see each other. I love how we’ve managed to make this work for this long, and I...
1 tag
DAY 1: YOUR BEST FRIEND
Dear Cho,
You might not know, but I consider you my best friend. Ever since we became friends and got to know each other better in high school, I’ve seen you as my best friend. You’re the one I talk to about almost everything, and you’re probably the one that knows the most about me (besides the bf). It sucks that we don’t really get to see each other or hang out much...